Last name of Butt

Tonight, the cabbie who brought me home from the airport was named Butt. It was his last name. and it seemed rather unfortunate. Or, at least unfortunate that he moved to a country where Butt refers to, well, bums or hineys or rear ends, because his children will be the (cough) butt of endless jokes in elementary school.

Normally, this is the point when I'd talk to said cabbie. But you know what? Tonight I wasn't feeling it. Yeah, that's right, I was feeling lazy and content to keep my trap shut. Don't judge.

So when I got home, I did a bit of research -- ie googling Wikipedia -- and here's what I learned. Butt is a common name for someone from Kashmir or Punjab (news that made me kick myself because I've never met anyone from war-ravaged-but-once-lush Kashmir and can only imagine the interesting thoughts they'd have. That, and I love the Led Zeppelin song). Butts were said to be intellectuals, and members of the priestly Brahmin caste of Hinduism. Between the 13th and 18th centuries many Butts converted to Islam.

So now we know the brief history of Butts. Above, a map of Kashmir.

Chinese Women Driving Cadillacs

My friend Brian was in a cab that was stuck behind an Asian woman slowly driving a massive car. His cabbie -- a guy from somewhere near India or Pakistan -- blew a fuse.

"The worst combination! The worst combination! Chinese woman in Cadillac! The worst combination!"

For your viewing pleasure, a 1969 Cadillac Eldorado.

How to get free world-class entertainment

Late last week, taxi industry officials gathered over bad coffee and soaked up music performed by famed musicians Hanh-Bin and Ann Roggen while attending the International Association of Transportation Regulators conference.

Know what these musicians have in common? Outside of talent and being world-renowned and all that?

They’ve all flaked and left their priceless instruments behind in cabs.

I guess this is what happens. You leave your instrument in a taxi and totally freak out. Then the instrument gets returned and you’re so happy – tears of joy streaming – that you’ll promise anything. And next thing you know, you’re wearing a monkey suit and playing at an industry trade show.

Kinda awesome.

Remember Hanh-Bin? With the great faux-hawk? Check it out here.

Ladies, a glow-in-the-dark taxi clutch

Trying to elevate yourself to "elegant" or "classy?" Feeling undignified when you jump out into the street, madly waving your arms as you attempt to catch yet another cab?

So hail a cab like the dignified ladies of the 50s by raising your arm, clutch in hand.

But make make sure the clutch lights up with the word "TAXI," because, really, who wants to be formal and dignified when you can be fun, flirty, and sport flashing lights?

Designer Regine Basha earns kudos from me for conceptualizing and designing this number, which goes for $225. Expect to see them around town for Fashion Week.

(You should also expect to see herds of women wearing bizarre clothing hoarding all the cabs, as they can't walk in their 5-inch heels without 1) teetering awkwardly, 2) taking a nose-dive, or 3) breaking their ankles. Ah, fashion.)

Click here to read the related New York Post article; photo by Caitlin Thorne.

Teaching Cabbies to Give the Bird

Master Cabbie- The F..
Watch the ad...

Master Cabbie Taxi Academy driving school in Long Island City, Queens, had brilliant spoof videos. The theme: a classroom full of future cabbies -- read: immigrant men -- learning how to deliver babies in cabs and dish out love advice, etc.

Truly inspired.

Imagine my disappointment when I went to the Master Cabbie homepage for a little video pick-me-up action and they were gone. "No video exists!" the site said.

But it's untrue. After a bit of digging, I found this last low-quality remnant of their hilarious marketing campaign. Now you, too, can see how cabbies are so adept at givin the finger.

Enjoy.